Six Months

A few days ago Miss Juliette Camille turned six months old. I cannot believe how fast this time has flown past me. When Annalise was a baby, I had a really hard time. It was a long adjustment to a new lifestyle. I felt lonely since I had few friends with babies. I joked that the UPS guy was my best friend. He was the only one in our neighborhood around during the day and he would wave at me as I walked and walked and walked. Annalise was also a difficult baby; I was unsure and insecure; and it was just a real difficult time for me. I couldn't wait for that baby phase to be over. When Zachary was a baby, I was much for confident in my abilities. I was no longer lonely. And I realized how fast that time would go by. But I was adjusting, once again, to a new lifestyle -- that of being a mother of two! He was also a difficult baby and I still don't think I would have said I loved the baby phase.

Jason and I put off for quite a while having a third child. We knew we wanted a third, but the timing just never seemed quite right. It is tough to balance all the different relationships we have going on and adding a third child to the mix can seem overwhelming. Still, I had two brothers whom I adore. I can't imagine my life without my younger brother. And, as my friend, Cindy, pointed out, so many of my best friends are the third child. I think that my main reason for wanting a third child was to give the gift of another sibling to Annalise and Zachary. I know how much a sibling can enrich and color a life. So we went for it, and Juliette is the result of that decision. Now that she is here, though, as much as I feel like she is a gift to her siblings, her father, her grandparents, everyone who meets her (she really is a beam of sunshine), she's all for me. She lights up my world in ways I never realized she could. I was so nervous when Zachary was born that I wouldn't love him as much as I loved Annalise. (This seems ridiculous now, but it's how I felt.) I didn't have these same fears with Juliette, but still, you never know how you are going to feel about someone. But my baby, my sweet third child is a dream come true for me. I cannot imagine my world without her. She makes me smile and laugh and cry. In the middle of the night I just want to hold her a little longer. What if we had changed our minds? What if we decided that two was just enough? It wasn't. The decisions to have each of our three children have been the best decisions that Jason and I have ever made. She is a gift to our family, a gift to me.

This time around, I know how fast six months flies by. I have loved every minute of it!