Monday, December 13, 2010

It's Christmas Again!

It's Christmas again, my favorite time of the year. Like last year, we are doing things simply. The kids will get some gifts, of course, and even something off their list. But I am trying hard not to emphasize that aspect of Christmas. I am really trying to focus on what I think Christmas should be all about -- giving to others and spending time with the ones you love. Last year we LOVED having something special to do each day of advent. This year, the kids are into it even more. Every morning the first thing they do is run to see the day's activity. And with Zachary a year older, he is able to really participate and enjoy everything so much more. He was really involved in making the fudge for our neighbors this year, becoming "The stirring expert." Juliette "helped" by not asking me to hold her the whole time. She mostly ate (crackers, a banana, a few chocolate chips) and moved her chair around the kitchen. She only fell off three times! One night we put her to bed early and the four of us did a jigsaw puzzle. This was also great. Zachary was a reluctant participant at first. But we let him choose the puzzle and when he realized he could do it, he loved it. Now he's asking to do puzzles. We are having a wonderful time just being together, doing simple, Christmasy activities. It also forces us to have some calm, usually in the evenings after Jason comes home, before bed time. This time is calm for many people, but in our house, things are a little frantic. "Eat your dinner! Take a bath! Wash your hair! Brush your teeth! How many books? I want cuddles!" We are trying to sloooooow things down a bit. (We should probably do this all year!) So far it has been a very happy holiday!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Our Own Private Forest

Though we live about 20 minutes from downtown LA, and there is a major freeway bissecting our town, I usually feel like I live a million miles from the major metropolis, at least the stereotypes thereof. People from out of state and out of town, it seems, think of people who live in LA as shallow, rich, shopaholic, plastic and botoxed and obsessed with celebrity culture. I'm sure there's some truth to this for many Angelinos and probably many people in our own little town. But as I walk or drive around town, I am much, much more likely to see women in sweats, their hair in a ponytail, walking a big dog than someone in the latest fashion, with a face unrecognizable to their high school friends and a dog in their purse. The original purpose of our little town was to be in "the country." It seems that much of that original purpose has been replaced by suburban shopping centers, SUVs and houses that fill an entire lot. But some elements remain. We still have very few street lights or sidewalks. Most of the town is still not on sewers. The city is littered with trees; eucalyptus, sycamores and California oaks, some smackdab in the middle of the road. And we have our horse trails.

Today the kids and I decided to have an adventure. Inevitably, these adventures take place on the horse trail. We've been exploring different aspects of it, going for short walks, collecting pinecones and leaves. Since we are on two feet (and not four), there is only so far we can go at a time. Today we were in a new (to us) part of the trail, canopied in ancient oaks. Even though today was a holiday and a gorgeous fall day, we came across only four other people on our walk. We had the trail almost completely to ourselves. The kids made up stories about where we were as we explored what felt like our own private forest. It was beautiful, peaceful and centering; the perfect way to forget about the stress of every day life. How lucky that we are to have all this right here in our own town. My kids were so excited to see two "big kids" who were having their own adventure, scouting spots for a scene in their "movie." (OK, it is still LA.) I can't wait for them to have their own adventures without me, like my childhood friends Sarah and Heidi and I used to do. I am often envious of people who live on huge properties of land or people in other parts of the country who have woods behind their backyard. Imagine that! How quick I am to forget what is in my own backyard.

One aspect of our walk was a little sad for me, though. We didn't come across a single horse. I know there are still horses in our town. We see them. We stop our car for them when they cross the road. There is even one family who rides home from school sometimes in a horse-drawn buggy. (Seriously. How cool is that?!) But they are getting more and more obsolete. I'm afraid that one day all the beautiful horse properties in town will be filled with enormous houses, swimming pools and play equipment, the barns and stables and horse spaces converted into something else entirely. Or worse yet, someone will subdivide the land and put on two or three or four enormous houses. As you walk along the horse trails, you can see into many of the yards of the homes that back the trails. Gates in the properties make for easy access on horseback. We saw lots of stables, one with six stalls and an enormous green area where horses once ran and grazed. Not a single stable that we saw today had a horse. Some appeared to be converted into storage. One is maybe a poolhouse or a guesthouse now. But most are just empty, their rooves starting to cave in. I don't really remember because well, my memory is spotty at best. But I know that horses were much more prolific in my youth. I remember bringing along a carrot or an apple to feed the horse on the street behind mine. Horses were as much a part of our town as the schools that now define it. It seems that some of the country has left our little town, left many of the stables empty and deserted. And though I have never ridden a horse, I still dream of someday opening a gate from my backyard, leaving behind a refurbished stable and hitting the trails on horseback.

Today the kids and I collected berries and acorns, freshly fallen after this morning's wind storm. Tomorrow we will make a wreath using them to adorn our front door. It will remind me to enjoy the nature that is right around me; enjoy these simple times while my children are young enough to enjoy them with me; and appreciate what has been, what is and what will be in an ever-evolving world.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A Little Liar?

Lately Zachary has been experimenting with the truth. Mostly it is very silly, and followed by "I'm just kidding." Sometimes he takes it a little further, and tries to convince me by saying, "I'm SERIOUS! No, I am! I'm serious!" He must say this a lot, because now Juliette walks around the house saying, "I kidding!" and "I see-ous!" He's into opening the front door and ringing the doorbell and then saying, "Grandma's here!" The other day I was shocked when Tyler, our beloved neighbor, actually did appear after Zachary said, "Tyler will be here in five minutes!" I'm so used to being told that Tyler is here or Tyler is coming that this time I dismissed it as well.

I spoke to his teacher, the wise Miss Sarah (love her!) today about this, asking if lying was typical at this age. She reported that it is, but she still recommended nipping it in the bud. (She said some parents actually find the lying amusing! Seriously?!) She suggested that when he tells a tale, he needs to start it by saying, "This is a made-up story." The last thing we want to do is kill off Zachary's imagination, which is extensive. This way, he can still tell the story, but starts to understand the difference between lies and the truth, make believe and reality. I haven't tried this yet, but will give it a go!

So then the second part of this story is last night when Jason was taking out the trash, he counted about twenty candy wrappers in Zachary's trash can!! (First of all, so sly, and yet, so not sly!) He's been closing the pocket door of the kitchen lately while I'm in there cooking and closing his own bedroom door. Now I know why. So we are in the midst of this little crisis. Jason and I weren't really sure what to do for a "consequence" (not a punishment, as Miss Sarah pointed out), and we really feel that the punishment should fit the crime. But then he did suffer some immediate consequences when he couldn't fall asleep and then woke up crying in the middle of the night because his body was hurting. Well, YEAH! So we are going to lay off the sweets for a bit, and we are trying to stress that we aren't so much upset about the candy eating, but more about the sneakiness. Hopefully he has also learned that we ration the candy on purpose. His little sensitive body can only handle so much. Fortunately he hasn't figured out yet that his father and I have been doing the same thing every night! Oh Halloween candy!! I curse you!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Belly and Boobs

Almost nine years ago, I became pregnant for the first time, with Annalise. Since then, I have had four other pregnancies, including two very early miscarriages before I got pregnant with Juliette. And I have nursed for 22 months (Annalise), 25 months (Zachary) and 20 months (Juliette). Let's do the math here and realize that, minus a few months, I have spent almost all of the past nine years either pregnant or nursing. That's a long time to dedicate my body, share my body with another person. Since we plan on Juliette being our last baby (I know -- be careful what you say), now that I am done nursing her, my body is MINE for the rest of my life!! This is a crazy concept to me.

For nine years, every time I took a sip of wine or coffee, was around second hand smoke, stayed out late (and by late, I mean past a feeding time), took a Tylenol or ate a Halloween candy bar past four in the afternoon, I worried about the repercussions -- not for myself, but for the barnacle. Now, if I want to, I can drink lots of wine! I can drink a whole pot of coffee! I can take the kind of cold medicine that knocks you out so you can actually sleep and perhaps recover from said cold. Maybe I'll take up smoking! (All right, well we all know that's not going to happen, but I had to try it out to see how it sounded!)

I'm not going to become a lush. And we all know I can't handle more that a half a cup of coffee without the music getting faster or my head spinning off into outer space. But I am going to go out with my husband for a date every now and then and not worry about the babysitter putting ALL THREE kids to bed! I'll go out with my girlfriends and come home late! I'll have weekends away! I might have something that resembles a life beyond my kids. This probably sounds ridiculously far-fetched to those who haven't left the world of pregnancy and nursing and so I'll keep you posted on the progress of this whole "having a life" thing.

The truth is, part of me is in mourning over having my body all to myself again. Now that I know that my extreme uncomfortableness (yes, I'm using that as a word) with Juliette's pregnancy was caused not by the pregnancy, would my body put up with another pregnancy? Am I not too old? Could we afford another baby? (Well, the answer to that one is easy. No; we can't even afford the three we already have.) Would I have time for four children? These are all good, valid questions. But a different part of me is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We just bought Juliette her own potty. She is speaking in complete sentences, and therefore we usually don't have to just guess what it is she is trying to tell us. We will someday soon be able to travel without diapers and a stroller. Someday in the far, far future, without carseats. We'll be able to go for a whole day without worrying about putting someone down for a nap. Jason and I might be able to go on a little vacation just for ourselves!

I am mourning the end of the baby phase. But I am celebrating this new phase of increased independence as well.

And my babies/big kids still need me. They still like to be picked up, kissed and cuddled. Nobody soothes a hurt tummy, a fall from a scooter or bike, having a toy taken back by a big brother or sister, an asthma attack, hurt feelings or a soccer ball to the nuts like Mommy. They need me to help with homework, learn how to ride a two-wheeler and to throw Friday night dance parties. Someday they'll need me to help with broken hearts and college applications.

If I've learned anything, it's that these phases go by too quickly. I can't spend too much time reflecting on what's been and what's yet to be. I need to enjoy the little moments that happen every day. Today was a beautiful fall day spent at the park with Grandma, Juliette and Zachy. Zachary can pump on his own, but still giggled with delight when I gave him one under-dog after another. Juliette just giggled with delight and narrated the whole afternoon. When Annalise came home from school, I was greeted with, "Mommy!" and a great big hug. Life is good.

So as my boobs shrink back to their pre-nursing, pre-pregnancy size (sigh. Good bye 32G, hello 32B), I must remember how much my life has grown in the past nine years. I have the stretch marks, the differently shaped belly button, the lengthened torso (What's THAT all about???) and the widened hips to remind me of the past nine years. And I'll move forward to the next phase of independence. I'll shed a tear today, but I'll rejoice tomorrow when Annalise figures out how to pull up "Word World" on the Tivo, giving me five more minutes in the shower. Today I'll mourn that there is no longer a baby in the house. But tomorrow I'll celebrate my big kids.

Goodbye belly. Goodbye boobs. You've been good to me.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Smelling the Roses

I have been generally ignoring all of my responsibilities lately, including writing in my blog. I had surgery a few weeks ago and the recovery from that has largely taken over my life. It was supposed to be a pretty simple surgery, but of course not for me! I ended up losing a lot of blood, having really low blood pressure and extremely low hemoglobin levels, a bad reaction to the anesthesia and two blood transfusions to try to remedy it all! It was more than I signed up for, and certainly it worried quite a few people. (But not me -- I was still kind of high from the anesthesia and Vicatin.) This week I am feeling so much better and was even able to walk Annalise to school today. That alone felt like a major accomplishment!

The whole ordeal has been very eye-opening and humbling for me. For the first time in my life, I really, really needed to depend on other people. And not just Jason and my mom, but really the whole village. My mom, of course, was a saint, and kept the kids for the whole time I was in the hospital and then the kids and me the following week when Jason had to go out of town. And she whipped that baby (who was still nursing the day before the surgery!!) into shape! She now sleeps on her own, in her crib, with little or no crying or drama. It's still unreal for us! (We keep waiting for the other shoe to drop!) Jason was exhausted going back and forth between the kids and me and taking care of all the odds and ends that are normally my responsibility. And then there were all the friends and neighbors who pitched in. Different people brought the kids home from school, kept them for playdates, took them to practices. People sent flowers, brought us meals, brought down our garbage cans, etc. etc. My brother came down from San Francisco for a surprise visit. Yesterday my friend Sarah and my mom paid to have our house cleaned top to bottom and inside out! If you've been here before you seriously wouldn't recognize the place! It's like a whole other family lives here! People have been amazing. And I've learned that people want to help and it's OK to accept help. It's been a good lesson for me.

At the same time, the mother of one of Annalise's good friends just got diagnosed with leukemia. It's been really devastating news, though she and her family have been incredibly strong and resilient. But that, too, has reminded me how much I have to be grateful for. Our lives are short and fragile. Our family and friendships are so important. We should appreciate it all! I will be stopping to smell the roses!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Smart Boy

I just have to write this down so that I will remember this. My good friend Jenn came down to spend some time just with us last week. She particularly wanted to spend time with Zachary, her godson. She took him to the park and then they went to get some frozen yogurt. Here is approximately their conversation:
Jenn: "You're so lucky you have two places in town to get frozen yogurt. We just got our first frozen yogurt place. I was so excited to go because I'd wanted one in our town for so long. But then I went there and it wasn't very good."
Zachary: "I know what that's like because my sister and I wanted to see Toy Story 3 for so long and then we went and we didn't like it at all."
That's pretty good, huh! He not only empathized with her, but he used an analogy to do it! That's my sweet, sensitive, smart little guy!

Annalise at the Ballet

Yesterday, my mom and I took Annalise to her first ballet, "Sleeping Beauty." It was quite a treat for her and for the both of us. My mom even said, "I liked that so much more than I thought I would!" It was probably only the second ballet for each of us, we think. Neither of us can actually really remember. As she did when we took her to see "Annie" (her first play) the first time at age three, Annalise sat at the edge of her seat, mesmerized the whole time. She really took it all in, from the dancing to the music to the costumes and the story. We read her the synopsis ahead of time, but it took her a while to understand that the story is really secondary to the dancing. She had somewhat of a running commentary through the whole thing, which was actually pretty funny, but showed how much she really was paying attention to all the little details:
"There's not really a baby in there. I looked! There isn't!"
"Here's where the bad fairy comes in! No, that's not her."
"Here she comes! No, not yet!"
"Is this still his visualizing?"
"The king and queen don't really dance much."
"I'd like to be one of the fairies or the other dancers, but not the lilac fairy or the princess. That's too much work."
"There are 20 dancers in the group."
"Now it's time for the wedding scene!"
And my personal favorite:
"It looks like you can see his butt crack."
We had a lot of fun and I hope we can do it again sometime soon. Because Annalise is a dancer, I think it was great for her to see kind of the end result -- what she is working towards. But I think it is also important for me to expose my kids more to the arts. It's funny, because we are really a family who love art in all forms, but we have never even taken our kids to an art museum. And the only kind of concert Zachary has ever been to involves classic rock. I need to make a promise to myself to do this kind of thing more often.

Friday, July 16, 2010

California Girl

This week is HOT! We have been so spoiled this summer, in that it really has been very cool and delightful. And I mean really delightful. We've hardly had to use our air conditioner at all. But the past couple days things have really gotten miserable. It's even a little muggy out. Ew. Our air conditioner is going most of the day and part of the night. And I am saying little prayers to the gods of heating and cooling that it continues to work. It's bad out there.

This morning we took Juliette to her gym class and then to run a couple of errands. I know the kids have had a big week... They've been swimming and going to friends' houses and having friends here. Annalise has had camp all afternoon and they're tired. But my goodness, I couldn't get those kids to motivate to do anything today! I asked them if they'd like to go to the library. "It's really cool there!" "No." Even Juliette... "Do you want to go to the library?" "No." "Do you want to get some books?" "NO!" with the emphatic head shake even. So we came home. The kids played and fought for a while. Juliette is napping and now I have two blobs on the couch watching a movie. Frankly, I don't blame them. With this weather all I want to do is be a blob also. I'm not sure my brain is even working well enough to read, much less write. (Forgive me if this makes no sense! It's the heat!) The heat just zaps the energy and motivation right out of us.

We really are spoiled here in Southern California with our weather. I would say probably 350 days of the year we can play outside -- maybe even more. There really are just a handful of days where it is really too hot or too rainy to play. And when I think of it that way, I really am grateful. Jason's parents and cousins live in Arizona and I always wonder how they survive the summers. Perhaps they hibernate. I think that's probably what I would do if I lived there. Just go into sleep mode and wake up in October. Maybe that's why the plastic surgery rates are so high there... If the hibernation thing didn't work out, then maybe we'd just be naked in our house all the time. My kids would be totally OK with that, but the UPS guy or my next door neighbor might appreciate it if I have a little work done. I have nursed three kids. I'm not as, well let's say, fit as I once was. And at the other end of the spectrum are my cousins who live back east. Whenever we visit Boston, I say I could live there. It really is such a great city. But my cousin says I wouldn't last a month! And she's probably right. It gets COLD there! Even if I could survive there myself, without kids, I'm pretty sure that, with kids, something would bring me down. It might be the constant wrestling with the winter clothing; getting them on to walk out to the car only to have to take them right back off to get into their carseats. Oh God! And what if they have to go to the bathroom? I think I'd just keep them all in diapers. Nobody uses a toilet until we're all home. And then there's that whole having to play inside all day thing. I'm pretty sure I would go stir crazy after just a couple of days. I think if I were to live in either place, I'd have to have a basement the size of a football field in order to survive. That might be kind of nice, actually. They'd be totally contained. No cars to dodge. No dirt for Juliette to eat. Hmmm, she might not like that. We'd have to get her a flower pot so she can get her iron. There's a reason it costs a couple arms and three or four legs to live in Southern California. It's the weather. That's it. We're paying for weather. Seems kind of ridiculous, especially on days like today. But for the 350 beautiful days of the year, it's worth every penny.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Cold Feet (Literally)

Last night was not such a good night for sleeping in this house. Jason and I have an arrangement for waking up. If Juliette wakes up in the middle of the night (which is pretty often), it's all me. I'm the one up with her. But if Zachary or Annalise wake up, Jason's on duty. This system works out great, except when Jason is out of town, like he was last night. It was not a great night. First, Juliette didn't even go down until after 10:30. What's up with that? And then she was up a whole bunch of times during the night. But Zachary also was up. He has this problem in the middle of the night where he says his feet are cold. We put socks on him every night (even when it is HOT outside, like last night) and sometimes he will wear two, three, even four pairs. Sometimes we pile blankets on top of his feet. It is the strangest thing. Jason and I are totally stumped. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it seems like it is really painful. Last night, his left foot woke him up three times. One time he was up for almost an hour, cuddling with me on the couch, in front of the TV, trying to distract him and get him to stop shaking and crying. It's starting to really upset me. It's been happening now for over a year. Our doctor has had no explanation so far, but I think we're going to have to talk about it again. Maybe his foot is falling asleep and it just won't wake up. Maybe he is dreaming. Maybe he has a circulation problem. I don't know. But I'm hoping to find out soon. Triple socks in the middle of summer in Southern California is just not practical.

Dirty Camp

This week Annalise is participating in our local Girl Scout day camp. It is a camp I attended when I was a Brownie, and I am so excited that she is following in my footsteps. The camp takes place in the afternoon. The girls aren't picked up until 7:30, which means right to showers and bed. Annalise is exhausted and oh so dirty when she comes home. The camp takes place at a park in town, which I am convinced is the dirtiest, dustiest place on earth. It is full of hiking and horse trails, a frisbee golf course and dirt. And sticks. And dust. And a few weeds. Beautiful old oak trees. And dirt. I'm still not sure what all they do there all day. The answers are always a little vague. Yesterday they went on a hike. Today they learned how to make lanyards. They sing those same old songs that have been around since the beginning of time -- songs about bubblegum and worms and boom-chicka-booms. Yesterday she learned a song about being terrific but nobody knows it yet (except people do know... I think she's pretty great.). They do some cooking and then some more singing. Tomorrow they are going to hike to the cave to see the "one-eyed monster." Both Annalise and her friend Cora were pretty sure they didn't want to have anything to do with that at the beginning of the week. But today they both are considering going inside. We'll have to see. This camp is the highlight of their summer. And it's one of my highlights, too. My girl grows before my eyes when she goes to day camp. She leaves the house a little girl each afternoon, but she comes back a little taller, a little wiser, a little braver and a whole lot dirtier.

Monday, June 28, 2010

SUMMER!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. Rose, my tenth grade English teacher, would be extremely disappointed in me for my excessive use of exclamation points in the title of this entry ("Any more than two and you just seem crazy."), but I feel it entirely necessary. I am so excited that summer is here.

We have had a really busy year. I completely overextended myself (as you can tell by lack of blog entries). I don't feel like each individual kid was overextended, but as a whole, our family was. Not every family works this way, but in this family, pretty much, if one kid has tee ball, then we all go to tee ball. If one kid has dance, we all go. That's not to say we always stay the whole time, but it does mean that everyone is loaded and unloaded from the car quite a lot. Our afternoons were overly full, and I'm happy to take a break from that.

And apparently I am taking that whole "break thing" to the extreme. The kids are signed up for almost nothing this summer. Annalise will do a week of Girl Scout camp -- the funnest, dirtiest camp ever. And Juliette will continue her MyGym class over the summer. But that's it. We plan on doing nothing but playing, exploring, swimming and going on field trips. It's totally my kind of summer. I may be totally regretting this decision in a couple weeks, but for now, it suits us just fine. The fighting has stopped. The bickering, whining, complaining, over-tired melt downs -- all of it has stopped. We are back to going to bed after nine and Zachary, for one, is sleeping in until ten almost every day. It's so lovely! Last night we took a walk to get ice cream after dinner. We are going to make a tradition out of playing at Annalise's school every Wednesday evening. I am going to have a little cooking class with Annalise and three of her friends. We'll have lots of playdates and trips to the park and beach. But we'll also have lots of days like today, where at almost 1:00, three of the four of us are still in our pajamas. To me, this is what summer is all about.

Phooey

Juliette is learning to talk. I know. All babies do it. It really shouldn't be anything special. But it SO IS!! She has had quite a few words for some time now. But now she is in the period of time my mom calls the "language explosion," where new words are coming fast and furious out of that kid's mouth. And, I'm sorry, but it really is adorable. I love that she is able to communicate with us with confidence and we are (sometimes) able to understand her. Today she repeatedly said, "Ogurt", a new one. She was done with her yogurt, but it was like she had to repeat herself over and over so the word would cement itself in her brain. My favorite word is "My shit," which is a sit/chair hybrid. So I get a kick out of a 17 month old cussing. (Ask me some day about Annalise and moving my gramps into a nursing home. More kid cussing. Love it!) And now she is constructing "sentences" like "Mama sit a dow side." (Mama, sit down outside.) This morning she kept pointing and saying "phooey" over and over. I handed her the flower I thought she was talking about. She pushed it down, pointed again and repeated "phooey." Of course! Phone! There were two play cellphones on Annalise's desk and she wanted both. She made her calls ("Papa," "Gama," and "Dada work") and was a happy girl.

She is very proud of herself, too. Of course she is always trying to keep up with the big kids. Last week we went down to Annalise's school to play after dinner with a few other families. The kids had the whole playground to themselves and so Juliette was really able to roam about freely. She didn't look back as she crossed the entire field to join in the huddle with the other kids. When they ran off, she was right behind them. At Annalise's dance rehearsals, she was right up in front, attempting to follow the choreography. It is amazing what happens to a third child sometimes. It seems like sometimes they really embrace that baby role and seem even younger than they are. Not this girl. She wants nothing more than to keep up with "Zachy" and "Seece." And third borns are exposed to things so much earlier. I seriously doubt that many first born 15 month olds are talking about "R2" when they spot R2D2 at the toy store. Maybe some day Juliette will embrace being the baby, but for now, she is daring herself, pushing herself and willing herself to be a big kid. Phooey.

Friday, May 28, 2010

The Faire

So I mentioned that I co-chaired the faire at Zachary's school this year. That thing was a lot of work! It is a huge event and fundraiser. I'm happy to report that we earned almost $30,000. We were $5000 shy of our goal, BUT we were still almost $9000 over last year. And that's not bad. I know I bitched and complained about it the whole way, but the truth is, it really was a lot of fun. My co-chairs, Courtney and Julie, are amazing, fun girls and we had way more laughs than we did complaints. We worked well together, balanced off each other well, and were a great team. And our committee chairs were fabulous! They came up with new ideas; they questioned the way things had been done in the past and made them better; they were creative and innovative. They were awesome! The whole thing was a huge team effort that had all these separate pieces that all came together to make for an incredible day. In the end I was really proud! But I definitely felt a little weird when it was all over -- like a what now? kind of feeling. I miss seeing Courtney and Julie every day. And it was great to really feel like I was doing something to really help.

The whole volunteer thing is really quite new to me. I have done little things here and there, but nothing major like this. And that phenomenon is really an amazing one. It amazes me what people will do for no money, no paycheck, and often barely a thank you. Maybe it's because of how volunteering makes you feel -- like you're really making a difference, really helping someone out. I know for now it makes the most sense for me to be focusing my efforts locally, on my kids' schools, but I hope as they get older I will reach far beyond our community, and bring my kids along in that adventure. I can imagine how powerful that will be for a kid. Who knows where these volunteering gigs will lead for me. Perhaps someday it will land me a paying job doing fundraising for a non-profit. (I'll certainly build up quite a resume in the meantime!) Or maybe I'll become a "professional" volunteer, like my mom. So far I have found the experience really rewarding, and I look forward to my next assignment, whatever that may be.

I'm Back!!

I have taken quite a break from writing in my blog. I have been unbelievably busy and have not had a spare second to myself. But this afternoon, Juliette is napping; Zachary is "resting" while watching a movie and Annalise is still at school. They are all great by the way. I'm not sure what this entry should be about, so maybe I'll just catch you all up.

I have been so busy because, well, I have three kids. But more than that, I also co-chaired the fair at Zachary's school this spring. (Much more on that later...) And since then I have been playing catch up with my life! Also, my brother and his family were here from Italy for two wonderful months. (Hopefully more on that later, too!) And other than that, I shuffle people from one place to another. Jason is still plugging away at work and then working around the yard on the weekends. We're hoping to get some fun stuff done around the house now that I have a little break! And maybe we actually spend some time together, too. Aaaahh, a girl can dream! :)

Annalise is still doing her first grade thing. She is gaining confidence every day. She is still a "floater" -- playing with different kids all the time, which I think is fabulous. She has a couple girls whom she would call her "best friends," but doesn't play with them every day. She seems very happy with her friends, her school, everything but her brother. (More on that later, too!) She finished softball, which she really liked. It is kid-pitch in this league, which was excruciating to watch. Often there were only one or two hits in the entire game. Ugh! It is just strike out after walk after strike out. So obviously they don't get to practice their fielding, either. I just don't get it. But fortunately, I don't run the league, so I don't get to make those decisions. I'll let someone else who actually knows something about softball make those decisions. She is still dancing, too. She's getting pretty good, though I really can't read her when she dances. Does she love it? She says so, but she just looks very intense. I'd like to see her let go a little.

Zachary is finishing up his second year of preschool. He is very conflicted about not going to kindergarten next year, as many of his friends are. We have had him observed by the district psychologist, who really thinks he is doing just fine, though he is a little immature. He definitely is showing a little more interest in "academics" lately. And we need to do a better job of follow through with him, and not accepting "I don't know" or "I can't" as an answer. He is still very social and loving. And I think he's a good friend, too. He is also done with his gym class. I'm a little sad about this, but he was ready to move on. And he has moved on to tee ball! Adorable!! Everyone gets a base hit, even if it takes you ten tries to hit the ball off the tee; even if you get tagged out; even if you run zig zag across the field to get to your base. The last one up always gets a homerun. The game goes on even if the opposing team is now sitting in the outfield playing duck duck goose. It's really cute and he's having a lot of fun.

Juliette is a rascal!! She is now 16 months old and is just so full of spirit! She's been walking and climbing for so long that now she really is an expert. Somehow she still manages to fall about 30 times a day. But she is one tough cookie. She cries for a second and then is back in action. She is by far the toughest one of my kids, and the least bit of a drama queen. She has tons of words now, and a few signs, too. But her favorites are baby, please, doggy, cracker, birdy and Zachy. My favorites are still shoes, cheese, purse and backback. She is always in action, often with a purse over her shoulder, ready to go. She is still a huge flirt and wins hearts wherever she goes.

Okay, you are now caught up on the major happenings in our house. Hopefully I'll have a chance to go into more detail, too. Keep sleeping, Juliette...

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Boys And Their Dolls

Two summers ago, we went to Boston to visit my cousin, Melissa, and her family. Melissa's son, Evan, is Zachary's age and at the time was in love with the Knuffle Bunny books. Quickly our kids fell in love with them, too. For Christmas, Annalise decided that that was what she wanted to give to Zachary. She found the book and said, "I wish we could get him the doll, too. He would really love that." I humored her, thinking to myself, "We'll never find that doll." And of course, two seconds later, "There it is!" We were our local bookstore, which doesn't sell things like that. They sell books. And coffee. That's it. It was meant to be. We bought Knuffle Bunny, brought her home to Zachary, and the love story began.

Actually, it began slowly. He like Knuffle Bunny in the beginning. She slept with him at night, and cuddled with him when we read stories (sometimes). She was definitely number one in the stuffed animal queue, but she wasn't his constant companion. Now Knuffle Bunny goes with us on trips and errands. She gets buckled up in her own seat in the car when Zachary doesn't need to cuddle with her. She has her own wardrobe and her own personality and set of problems. Yesterday, Knuffle Bunny had a fever, so she couldn't come with us to take Zachary to school. She slept on her own bed (Juliette's changing table), where she would be more comfortable, wrapped in a blanket. The first thing Zachary asked when I picked him up was, "How is Knuffle feeling?" He checked on her right away and decided that she needed more rest. Last night she was feeling well enough to sleep with Zachary and when I came in this morning, his arms were wrapped around her tight!

I love that Zachary has a doll! He is such a masculine boy, SO full of testosterone, and has been since the very beginning. Knuffle Bunny has brought out such a sweet, caring, nurturing side of Zachary. (Honestly, so has Juliette, though. He really is VERY sweet with her.) I love this new side of my down and dirty boy. He is so much more complicated than we have given him credit for in the past. He's a real love, that one.

Girls Are Weird

Yesterday, the kids had a double play date over at our house. We decided to have an outdoor-only playdate because, well, we can (it's not raining! Yay!), but also because everyone is germy and borderline-sick, so we thought we'd minimize the germ-spreadage by keeping them all outside. It was great. They rode bikes and scooters, played with "swords", played on the sit upon spinny things, hid from one another, chased each other, etc. Juliette walked all over; played in the dirt; tried to get in the way of the bikes; layed down in the middle of the street. It was great.

At the end, the girls were playing with hula hoops. Annalise and Zachary just got hula hoops from my mom. My mom was buying one for herself and bought them for the kids as well. (Yes, you read that right. My mom bought HERSELF a hula hoop! She's 65 and she can still hula hoop like a rock star! According to my husband I look like Ozzy Osbourne when I hula hoop, so I guess I do, too. It's hard!!) Annalise has gotten quite good. She's confident and she whips that thing around. She almost knocked Juliette over the other day. A hula hoop can be dangerous. (I should have remembered this. "The Hula Hoop Incident" caused a trail of blood from my nose across the Paradise Canyon campus for years. It also covered my entire Brownie uniform. Deadly, those hula hoops.) Anyway, Annalise's BFF clearly hasn't had as much experience with the hula hoop, and so she wasn't as good. And that's when this weird thing happened.

They stopped hula hooping. When Annalise isn't good at something, she usually keeps going and going until she is. She taught herself to jump rope in one day. She's stubborn as hell (wonder where she gets that from?) and keeps trying and trying. But that's not what happened with BFF. But what's weird, is that it wasn't really BFF who stopped trying. It was Annalise who changed the activity. She saw that her friend wasn't doing as well and so she changed what she was doing. She started rolling the hula hoop. BFF immediately started rolling hers as well. And this was fine for a while until it was clear that Annalise was much better at rolling the hula hoop, too. So then she started messing up on purpose occasionally. And was saying weird things like, "Oh, I just got lucky that time. I'm not that good at it either. You're good, too." It was so weird. And then she got her condescending voice on, like she was an adult talking to a small child. "Good job! You did it!" It was like she was afraid to be good at something her friend wasn't. IT WAS SO WEIRD!

What's even weirder, is that I remember doing the same thing. Maybe I still do??? What is it with girls that we can't just be good at something and be good at it and that's it. Why does it have to be an issue. I remember lying about my grades to my friends because heaven forbid I did better than other people. I was SO SCARED to tell MY BFF (who was, admittedly, a scary person and SO not my BFF) that I got into UCSB. I knew that she hadn't heard yet and I didn't want to deal with that conversation. I remember downplaying my own strengths and boosting up others. Why do we do that? How does Annalise know to do this at the age of seven? Did I teach her that? God, I hope not! Is it something innate in women and girls that we are so sensitive to the feelings of others that it holds us back from our own successes? How do we counteract that? Of course I want Annalise to be sensitive to the feelings of others. That is one of her strengths. She has shown empathy from a way younger age than she should have been able to show such a thing. But is that holding her back from other strengths? How do we build our girls up without them feeling like they are keeping others down? In the long run, has this effected the success that I have had? Did I stifle my own talents when I was young and hence hold myself back from future success? I am so baffled by this. Maybe it's not everyone. Maybe it's just Weber girls? Does anyone else do this? The last thing I want is to have my daughter hold back on her own success on the hunch that it might make someone else "feel better." Annalise's BFF is one tough cookie. I seriously doubt she would be bothered by someone else doing better than her at something, especially when she has so many strengths herself. I am going to be seriously watching for this in the future; and watching what I do as well as my girls.

Settings Changed

It has been brought to my attention that some people can't make comments on my blog. I changed the comments section so that "anyone" can comment. We'll see if this works. I am a computer moron and didn't even pay attention to any of that stuff. Please try to make a comment and we'll see if this works!! Thanks!

Friday, January 29, 2010

A Girls' Morning

Today was a rarity. Zachary had school, but Annalise was off. So we decided to go out to breakfast. My friend Sarah's mom came over to babysit for Juliette so that Annalise and I could really enjoy ourselves. And we did! With three, I feel like Annalise is sometimes the one who gets the shaft as far as alone time with me. Zachary and I get time during the mornings he's home when Juliette is sleeping. Obviously Juliette and I get time when the others are in school. But I have to make special arrangements to have one on one time with Annalise.

Seven is such an interesting age. She is on the verge of being very independent. She can do so much on her own and loves to have that independence. She will close her door now and turn up her music and hang out by herself or with a friend. She wants to do her own hair and pick out her own clothes. She can help her brother make his lunch. She will ride up ahead on her scooter to ride down the big hill by our house all by herself. But she also wants to come in and cuddle in the mornings and night. She still loves to play with dolls and Legos. And she is very silly! When I was her age, my friend, Sarah, and I walked to school all by ourselves. (Actually we walked all over town when we were supposed to be on our way to school, but that's another story for another day.) We rode our bikes to "The Plaza" (the Vons shopping center) every Saturday and stayed for hours. We were so independent. But I also remember going to camp at age nine and crying every night because I missed my mommy. Even today, Annalise was wearing her skinny jeans with her ballet flats (She's way more hip than I am.), but she skipped and held my hand as we walked into the restaraunt. It's definitely an age of contradictions.

So our breakfast today was a great check-in time. We talked about her plans to go to Stanford. (Have I mentioned that before? "I don't know why. I've just decided I want to go to Stanford." She'd better work on those soccer/dance/softball/ANYTHING skills that will get her a scholarship! The other night I woke up in a cold sweat when I realized that if Annalise is the same age Jason and I were when we got married, that we will have two kids in college at the same time as we're planning a wedding!! Yikes!!) Anyway, we talked about her college plans and how she wants to do a year abroad like Auntie Sarah did. Actually she's trying to talk me into doing a summer in Italy with Uncle Billy and Auntie Carlotta NEXT YEAR! Crazy girl! But we laughed and were silly and had a great time! My friend Courtney is having a girls' weekend in New York right now with her mom and sisters. I can't wait to have that with my girls! For now I will take these little opportunities for "big girl" time when they come. She's growing up before my eyes, and it's nice to stop and take it all in before the moment has passed.

Roasted Broccoli

I was watching some cooking show recently (maybe the Barefoot Contessa? I don't remember). Anyway, she made roasted broccoli. So I decided to try it. My kids are pretty good vegetable eaters, but not really by choice. They will eat raw red peppers and mushrooms (Zachary) and raw carrots (Annalise) in addition to frozen peas (still frozen) til the cows come home. But they sometimes take a little coaxing to eat green veggies. So I tried this and they LOVED it!! And by loved, I mean LOVED! Zachary said, "I can't believe my LIFE! This is SO good!" Annalise said they tasted like a chip, only saltier. (They only had a sprinkling of salt, too!) Both asked for more and we actually ran out of seconds. Usually I am eating all the broccoli left in the bowl, but that night I didn't get any seconds! Last night we tried it with asparagus with equal success. It may take more vitamins out of the veggies than just steaming (I don't know), but I'm not sure how much I care at this point! And, it was SO easy! Here's all I did:

Roasted Broccoli

cut up broccoli pieces
drizzle of olive oil
sprinkling of salt
sprinkling of pepper

Put the broccoli on a baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Stir it all together to coat. Place in a 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes. Stir or shake the pan every 7-10 minutes and remove from oven when it starts to get brown in parts. Or just taste a bit and see if you like it. It's not an exact science. (For asparagus, I cut the asparagus spears into bite size pieces and then did the same thing.) Enjoy!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

One Year!

Yesterday Miss Juliette Camille turned one year old! How this year has flown! I know it sounds cliche, but it really does seem like just yesterday when we were in that delivery room, watching the inauguration, anticipating her arrival. And now here we are, a year later, and she is no longer the same helpless, tiny creature we joyously welcomed into our arms.

At one, Juliette is a force! She was an early, confident mover and now she is an early, confident runner! One of her favorite things is sneaking away from us (down the hall, for example), and running and squealing as we swoop in to round her up. She doesn't really say many "real" words; just mama, dada, mimi (our word for nursing) and nana (night night). And she can also sign mimis, all done, water and more. She enthusiasticly shows off her clapping and waving skills and loves to shake her head no as she reaches for something she knows she's not supposed to have. She is an emptier of cupboards and a stealer of her siblings' toys, homework, socks, lunchboxes, etc. She loves babies and dollies. She has latched onto one of Annalise's old dolls, stripped it of its clothes and now drags it with her wherever she goes. "Dirty Dolly" cuddles with her when she sleeps and she loves to give her cuddles, hugs, kisses and pats on the back. She loves her family! She squeals with delight and dances up and down when Daddy comes home at night. She loves to wrestle with Zachary. She is constantly trying to get into Annalise's room (especially when Annalise is already in bed!) to be with her. She reaches out of my arms to have Grandma hold her. Hardly ever does anyone turn her away! She is a huge flirt and quick to make friends. She is the kind of baby who everyone in the grocery store wants to talk to and Juliette is happy to oblige with a little peek-a-boo or playing hard to get. She has a beautiful, genuine smile that lights up a room.

It's hard to imagine life without her. Did we actually have a debate about having a third child? What were we thinking? The decision seems so easy now. Life with Juliette is so much richer, filled with so much more joy. She makes us laugh and smile. She challenges us. She fills our lives with love and joy.

Friday, January 15, 2010

One of Those Days

Do you ever have one of those days? I swear, yesterday was one of those days that if I were a single mom, I swear I would have hanged myself. It was a tough day, but I've had tougher. But for some reason yesterday, I just couldn't take it anymore. I went to bad angry and woke up this morning angry, too. What right do I have to be angry? Look at my life! It's pretty damn good. But some days URRRFFF!! I just want to scream!!

To start, Annalise had been sick all week. And when one of them is stuck inside all week, that means all of them are stuck inside all week. Correction, all of US are stuck inside all week. And a four year old boy stuck inside all week is not good. So Zachary had TWO temper tantrums yesterday. TWO! And major ones too. So much so that the child has lost his voice today. He has no voice. That's how much screaming was happening in our house yesterday. And Juliette, bless her, is systematically emptying out every single cabinet in the house. There is stuff EVERYWHERE!! I can't walk without tripping on something. I have Splenda packets in my bedroom and tampons in the living room. The granola bars are totally mashed and raisins are permanently imbedded in the carpet. And let's not even mention the cereal. The problem is, that I cannot get anything done unless she is occupied. And the only thing that seems to keep her occupied are Legos (which we try to avoid at all costs. I'm tired of fishing those out of her mouth.) and kitchen and bathroom cabinets. We've babylocked everything that is potentially dangerous to her, but that doesn't stop the mess. Why isn't that kid amused by baby toys? They're fun! They're bright! They're throwable! Totally uninterested. And then by the end of the evening I couldn't put her down without her crying. And since I already had to listen to Zachary crying, I just didn't want to listen to her, too. Remarkably the sick one held up the best.

I think the problem with yesterday wasn't just the temper tantrums and the stuff everywhere, it was my attitude toward it all. I've had a whole week with absolutely not a second to myself. (Well, that's not entirely true. I did have one afternoon where they all either rested or napped at the same time. But then I was writing thank you notes. I don't think that counts as alone time.) I think if I don't have any time to myself for a whole week then I go crazy. So, the lesson is... if I have a sick kid or another time like this when they are all here 24/7, I need to find some way to get some time to myself. A friend wrote me an email this morning talking me down off the fence and saying how we all have days like this. I know we do, but it was a great reminder. I really needed that. So if you are having a day like I had yesterday (or if in the future you do -- and you know you will), remember that I've been there, too. We all have. And a good night's sleep (if you can get it), two kids in school and one down for a nap makes the world a whole lot better. And if you don't have that break, then call me up. We'll commiserate and find a solution. Today, things are not that bad.