It takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to support a mom through a tough time or to help her take three small children to the beach! Some days I feel a little guilty because I have my mom so close by. She is able to help me often. Today she came along with me so I could run some errands. It was so much faster to go to the vacuum repair shop, the post office and the dry cleaner without having to haul three kids out of the car. Plus, I had someone to talk to who didn't want to run down plot lines of various movies or books with me. (Today it was ET and Grandma got to enjoy that while I ran in to do my errands.) Sometimes I feel like I wouldn't be able to do it without her and wonder how she did it without the help of her family. I have resolved to stop feeling guilty about it, however, accept her help, and also accept that she and my children are also benefitting from the arrangement. I would have loved to have had my grandparents less than a mile away. How lucky my kids are that they get to have her so close.
Another person I am lucky to have in my life is my Aunt Nancy. Nancy is one of my mom's younger sisters, and also my godmother. She has always been special and important to me throughout my life. But in the past several years, she has become even more important. Five years ago, we moved my grandfather to an assisted living facility. Four and a half years ago, we moved him to a nursing home. A few months ago, my beloved grandpa finally past away. But in the meantime, we have had quite an adventure. Mostly my mom and Nancy were in charge of Grandpa's affairs, visiting him, etc. Their other two siblings live far away and weren't involved as much, so I became the number three guy. The kids and I went ususally at least once a week to visit him. And when my mom was out of town, Nancy and I would have the daily talk about Grandpa's status. And for a while, Nancy would stay at our house when she went to see Gramps. (She lives two hours away, and works one hour away.) The whole situation brought the two sisters closer together, but I felt closer to them both as well.
While I was pregnant with Juliette, I had some real ups and downs. It was a tough year for all sorts of reasons that I won't really go into here. Let's just say that some people in my life were not being very supportive. It caused me a lot of stress and worry. And then one day when I was twenty some odd weeks pregnant, with both Jason and my parents out of town, I fell. It wasn't a real bad fall, though my butt would probably disagree, but it did cause some spotting. I was upset and alone and didn't really know what to do. And out of nowhere, Aunt Nancy called. I told her what was going on. She said she was a little worried, she was about to go into a meeting and to call her back in an hour. I sat down at my kitchen table to tutor, and an hour later I looked up, and there was Nancy. She had dropped everything to come and take care of me. Jason was able to get on an earlier flight, and he was able to take care of the kids so that Nancy could take me to Labor and Delivery. Obviously everything was fine, but it was a scary situation. But in that moment of looking up and seeing her car out in front of my house, I instantly was transformed. Since then I have been able to mostly let go of the other not so good situation and realize how much I am loved. Now I realize that I have so many people who love me, who love my family, who support our decisions and who genuinely want to love and take care of our children. How blessed I am! I had been so busy dwelling on the negative, I couldn't see the love that had been right in front of me all along.
So last Wednesday, my mom and I decided that we had to get to the beach. (Yes, I said HAD. It's a real need. I swear.) We met Nancy and her best friend Dee Dee down at Dana Point. We went to a perfect little mothers' beach, with lots of soft sand and no waves. The kids had a blast swimming in the water, splashing, playing "lifeguard" and digging. Between the four of us, we were easily able to handle the three kids, taking turns sitting in the water, holding the baby and handing out sandwiches. It was perfect. I wouldn't have been able to take the kids by myself , but even if I could have, I wouldn't have wanted to. I had my two favorite "moms" with me and I feel thankful for it and not at all guilty.
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