California Girl

This week is HOT! We have been so spoiled this summer, in that it really has been very cool and delightful. And I mean really delightful. We've hardly had to use our air conditioner at all. But the past couple days things have really gotten miserable. It's even a little muggy out. Ew. Our air conditioner is going most of the day and part of the night. And I am saying little prayers to the gods of heating and cooling that it continues to work. It's bad out there.

This morning we took Juliette to her gym class and then to run a couple of errands. I know the kids have had a big week... They've been swimming and going to friends' houses and having friends here. Annalise has had camp all afternoon and they're tired. But my goodness, I couldn't get those kids to motivate to do anything today! I asked them if they'd like to go to the library. "It's really cool there!" "No." Even Juliette... "Do you want to go to the library?" "No." "Do you want to get some books?" "NO!" with the emphatic head shake even. So we came home. The kids played and fought for a while. Juliette is napping and now I have two blobs on the couch watching a movie. Frankly, I don't blame them. With this weather all I want to do is be a blob also. I'm not sure my brain is even working well enough to read, much less write. (Forgive me if this makes no sense! It's the heat!) The heat just zaps the energy and motivation right out of us.

We really are spoiled here in Southern California with our weather. I would say probably 350 days of the year we can play outside -- maybe even more. There really are just a handful of days where it is really too hot or too rainy to play. And when I think of it that way, I really am grateful. Jason's parents and cousins live in Arizona and I always wonder how they survive the summers. Perhaps they hibernate. I think that's probably what I would do if I lived there. Just go into sleep mode and wake up in October. Maybe that's why the plastic surgery rates are so high there... If the hibernation thing didn't work out, then maybe we'd just be naked in our house all the time. My kids would be totally OK with that, but the UPS guy or my next door neighbor might appreciate it if I have a little work done. I have nursed three kids. I'm not as, well let's say, fit as I once was. And at the other end of the spectrum are my cousins who live back east. Whenever we visit Boston, I say I could live there. It really is such a great city. But my cousin says I wouldn't last a month! And she's probably right. It gets COLD there! Even if I could survive there myself, without kids, I'm pretty sure that, with kids, something would bring me down. It might be the constant wrestling with the winter clothing; getting them on to walk out to the car only to have to take them right back off to get into their carseats. Oh God! And what if they have to go to the bathroom? I think I'd just keep them all in diapers. Nobody uses a toilet until we're all home. And then there's that whole having to play inside all day thing. I'm pretty sure I would go stir crazy after just a couple of days. I think if I were to live in either place, I'd have to have a basement the size of a football field in order to survive. That might be kind of nice, actually. They'd be totally contained. No cars to dodge. No dirt for Juliette to eat. Hmmm, she might not like that. We'd have to get her a flower pot so she can get her iron. There's a reason it costs a couple arms and three or four legs to live in Southern California. It's the weather. That's it. We're paying for weather. Seems kind of ridiculous, especially on days like today. But for the 350 beautiful days of the year, it's worth every penny.

Beach Day, With a Little Help from the Village

It takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to support a mom through a tough time or to help her take three small children to the beach! Some days I feel a little guilty because I have my mom so close by. She is able to help me often. Today she came along with me so I could run some errands. It was so much faster to go to the vacuum repair shop, the post office and the dry cleaner without having to haul three kids out of the car. Plus, I had someone to talk to who didn't want to run down plot lines of various movies or books with me. (Today it was ET and Grandma got to enjoy that while I ran in to do my errands.) Sometimes I feel like I wouldn't be able to do it without her and wonder how she did it without the help of her family. I have resolved to stop feeling guilty about it, however, accept her help, and also accept that she and my children are also benefitting from the arrangement. I would have loved to have had my grandparents less than a mile away. How lucky my kids are that they get to have her so close.

Another person I am lucky to have in my life is my Aunt Nancy. Nancy is one of my mom's younger sisters, and also my godmother. She has always been special and important to me throughout my life. But in the past several years, she has become even more important. Five years ago, we moved my grandfather to an assisted living facility. Four and a half years ago, we moved him to a nursing home. A few months ago, my beloved grandpa finally past away. But in the meantime, we have had quite an adventure. Mostly my mom and Nancy were in charge of Grandpa's affairs, visiting him, etc. Their other two siblings live far away and weren't involved as much, so I became the number three guy. The kids and I went ususally at least once a week to visit him. And when my mom was out of town, Nancy and I would have the daily talk about Grandpa's status. And for a while, Nancy would stay at our house when she went to see Gramps. (She lives two hours away, and works one hour away.) The whole situation brought the two sisters closer together, but I felt closer to them both as well.

While I was pregnant with Juliette, I had some real ups and downs. It was a tough year for all sorts of reasons that I won't really go into here. Let's just say that some people in my life were not being very supportive. It caused me a lot of stress and worry. And then one day when I was twenty some odd weeks pregnant, with both Jason and my parents out of town, I fell. It wasn't a real bad fall, though my butt would probably disagree, but it did cause some spotting. I was upset and alone and didn't really know what to do. And out of nowhere, Aunt Nancy called. I told her what was going on. She said she was a little worried, she was about to go into a meeting and to call her back in an hour. I sat down at my kitchen table to tutor, and an hour later I looked up, and there was Nancy. She had dropped everything to come and take care of me. Jason was able to get on an earlier flight, and he was able to take care of the kids so that Nancy could take me to Labor and Delivery. Obviously everything was fine, but it was a scary situation. But in that moment of looking up and seeing her car out in front of my house, I instantly was transformed. Since then I have been able to mostly let go of the other not so good situation and realize how much I am loved. Now I realize that I have so many people who love me, who love my family, who support our decisions and who genuinely want to love and take care of our children. How blessed I am! I had been so busy dwelling on the negative, I couldn't see the love that had been right in front of me all along.

So last Wednesday, my mom and I decided that we had to get to the beach. (Yes, I said HAD. It's a real need. I swear.) We met Nancy and her best friend Dee Dee down at Dana Point. We went to a perfect little mothers' beach, with lots of soft sand and no waves. The kids had a blast swimming in the water, splashing, playing "lifeguard" and digging. Between the four of us, we were easily able to handle the three kids, taking turns sitting in the water, holding the baby and handing out sandwiches. It was perfect. I wouldn't have been able to take the kids by myself , but even if I could have, I wouldn't have wanted to. I had my two favorite "moms" with me and I feel thankful for it and not at all guilty.

So good! So good! So good!

Summer Sundays in La Canada mean music in the park. It's one of my favorite things about living in a small town. Half the town turns out, brings a picnic dinner. The kids run around and dance, do cartwheels and play on the playground. There are tons of dogs, but hardly any barking. It's really quite lovely. Last night featured "Hot August Nights," a Neil Diamond tribute band. We arrived before the band even started and already the park was packed. (Apparently "Neil" brought in the biggest crowd of the summer.) Neil's biggest fan was upfront dancing her little heart out in gray sweats from the first chord. At a certain point, a huge crowd formed in front of the stage (read gazebo). It was a mosh pit La Canada style: Neil Diamond music, a glass of wine in one hand, a child on the other hip and, as my friend Debbie added, a Coach bag back on the blanket. But, as the Evans family joined in for "Sweet Caroline," we had, "the most fun EVER!" as Annalise exclaimed. We even had our own little circle going with Debbie's family for screaming, "So good! So good! So good!" It was a lot of fist-pumping, hip-shaking good times. We may have shot Juliette's hearing, but wow did that kid have fun! It was a great reminder that life really is "So good!"