Grrrr

I try to be a proactive parent. I like to anticipate the times when behavior won't be at its best and make a plan. I try to give lots of positive reinforcement when I can, use a calm voice, dispense lots of affection. Notice I said "try". There are days (lots of them) when the calm voice and anything positive goes right out the window. Lots of days I feel like I'm just trying to keep my head above water. Today was one of those days. (And it's only 4:00!) It was one of those days where I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels -- unload the dishwasher so that I can load it again; strip the sheets so I can make the bed again; clean up the toys so we can scatter them across the room again. And let's not even mention the yelling, hitting each other on the head, tormenting babies, etc. As Alexander says, "Some days are like that. Even in Australia."

We started off the day with our first attempt at volunteering. My mom has been involved with a group for thirty years or so that makes lunches for those in need. My younger brother used to go with her every week, starting when he was three years old. My older brother and I would go to help when we were on vacation from school. It was a simple, easy activity, but one that is very fulfilling as well. I've been wanting to do some volunteering with Annalise, in particular, for a while, but with all three kids, it's tricky. I needed to find something that we can all do together. So today, we gave it a shot. My mom arranged for us to do the sweets for the bagged lunches to be made tomorrow. (The group meets earlier than they used to and the idea of all of us in the kitchen was less than desirable.) All we had to do was bag cookies and treats in plastic sandwich bags. Annalise was a machine. She loved it and did a great job. Zachary bitched and complained the whole time. "I'm tired. I want some water." (We were there all of 45 minutes.) Meanwhile he kept explaining to his sister why she couldn't have a cookie. "These are for people who don't have any food. You have food. These aren't for you." And then jumped at the chance to have half a cookie himself. (At least he got the concept.) Juliette sat in her Baby Bjorn, kicking her little legs and making pterodactyl noises. So it wasn't a huge success, but we got the job done and both kids said they wanted to do it again next week.

The rest of the morning consisted of hitting each other on the head, screaming at each other, some slammed doors, waking up a napping baby, some threats, a screaming mommy and two kids being sent to their rooms. Some days that is the only way to get things back on track. Tomorrow I'll try again with the calm voice and positive reinforcement.