Since becoming a parent, I can't tell you how many times I've repeated the famous quote, "It takes a village to raise a child." This year that line is more true for me than ever. Perhaps you've read my blog before and noticed huge gaps in time in between posts. This is because I am BUSY!! Besides the three kids and their three very different schedules, I have as always, over-extended myself with volunteer jobs and now I am working more than I have since Annalise was born. It's a lot to juggle and I am feeling very overwhelmed at times. The past two nights, I have put myself to bed before nine, which does not ever happen unless I am sick. But I'm exhausted. I'm having a hard time balancing it all, which we all know is where I fall short so often anyway. It is a tough year, but I do have things in perspective. I know how hard everything is for other people. And next year, with Zachary in school all day and Juliette in two mornings a week, the juggling will become somewhat easier. I hope!
I think as Americans, we have this attitude that we have to do everything ourselves. If we ask for help, if we admit that we need help, then we somehow have failed. And so we often flounder on our own, not thinking to reach out our hand to the person standing just next to us to ask for help. I have been guilty of this so much myself. And then a wonderful thing happened. A year ago, I had to have surgery. And I had no choice but to ask for help. My husband, my mom, and a multitude of friends stepped up and helped out in ways I couldn't even imagine. They took care of me in so many ways: they made meals, and they took care of my children. They recognized when I was trying to dive back in too early and pushed me back out of the pool and took care of everything for a much longer time than any of us anticipated. What I learned through that was that people were not resentful for having to help. They were not begrudging. They were willing and happy to help.
This year because of my crazy work schedule, my desire to take a parent ed class with Juliette, Zachary's afternoon kindergarten schedule (which I wanted and asked for), my mom's crazy volunteer schedule being crazier than ever and occasionally Juliette's naps running overboard, I have had to rely on friends more than ever. And my friends have been AMAZING! I like to think that I am returning the favor, if not completely this year, than in the years to come as well. Because the amazing thing that has happened is that I have found that my friends need me too. One friend had to unexpectedly leave for a few days this week to attend a funeral. In a matter of hours, through a few emails, her girls were completely taken care of for the week. We all happily stepped in to take the girls to and from school, to dance classes and playdates. Truthfully, it's easy. My kids are happy to have friends over, I'm happy that they're happy and my friend can focus on being present at the memorial service and know that her girls are taken care of.
When I was a kid, I wasn't too thrilled to live in a town where everyone knows everyone else's business. (My brother, as a first grader on his way home from school, throwing lemons at cars, really didn't like this. My mother knew before he even walked in the door.) But this same town where everyone knows everyone else's business, also supports each other. Sometimes everyone's business is just gossip. But sometimes it's knowing when a friend is in need and stepping up to support her. This year, though I sometimes feel like a mooch, I know that my village knows that I am here to support them in their times of need as well. My village kicks ass and I wouldn't change my village for anything.
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