Becoming a Big Girl

Have you ever met a toddler that does not insist that they are "a big girl" or "a big boy"?  Our favorite quote of Zachary's is, "Zachy no baby.  Zachy big boy."  He was almost two.  The "big girl" in our house is now narrowing in on three.  In so many ways, she is becoming a big girl.  She can dress herself -- down to the shoes and all; she can ride a tricycle; she can even unload the dishwasher.  She also could tell me the second she pooped or peed.  (Do you get where I'm going with this?)  And then she would immediately insist on a new diaper.  And if a new diaper was not forthcoming, the whole neighborhood heard about it.  It was time.  I knew it.  She knew it.  The neighbors knew it.  It was time to potty train.

Let me give you a little back story as to how I feel about potty training.  Annalise was the easiest child on earth to potty train.  I swear I remember it taking about a day; maybe a bit longer for the pooping.  And she hardly ever had an accident.  It was easy.  Piece of cake.  But she was the easiest toddler ever.  And what does God give you when you've had an easy toddler?  Zachary.  Zachary was not the easiest toddler on earth.  And I'm convinced he was the hardest child ever to potty train.  In fact I am scarred for life.  In my opinion potty training is the worst task a parent has to strike off their list.  (But I have yet to have teenagers, so stay tuned for that opinion to change.)

But it was time.  And I had the time.  The big kids had a whole week off from school for Thanksgiving.  The next break they would have is at Christmastime, and that wouldn't work if we also had to fit in a very loooooong drive to Arizona to see the in laws.  And frankly I was tired of the diapers... Tired of changing them; tired of paying for them; tired of being yelled at because of them.  So Thanksgiving it was.  We gave Juliette all sorts of warnings that it was coming.  She seemed excited, expecially since we attached potty training to a new "big girl" room.  (We're still not sure what that means yet!)  So Thanksgiving vacation came and we stocked up on stickers, a poster for her door reading "Juliette is using her potty!" (which was, of course, a total lie for quite a few days), M&Ms and Dollar Store prizes.  Oh and potties.  All sorts and varieties of potties.  We were ready!

Unfortunately the pee was not so ready.  We quickly learned that Juliette has a bladder like Jason's in that it can hold a whole gallon of pee.  We would go hours of sitting and trying, eating M&Ms and nothing.  And then an accident on the kitchen chair or on the dining room floor.  After three days I was ready to throw in the towel.  And then a little success on day four and then regression again.  I was ready to hang myself.   Finally after a week, we had a break through.

It was Saturday morning.  The kids were due to go back to school on Monday and I was so frustrated and torn.  I didn't know what to do.  Once the kids were back in school, we would be back to carpools and soccer practice, dance class and running all over town.  We would not have a bathroom at our beck and call.  Juliette was particularly clingy that morning.  She wanted to watch a movie.  (The answer to this was yes, as the potty training kid gets to do a whole lot of whatever they want during potty training in the Evans house.)  And she wanted to cuddle.  You should also know that Juliette is my least cuddliest kid.  This is through some cruel trick of nature.  The mommy who wants to cling on to her last baby needs a baby who likes to cuddle!!  It's a total bummer.  But on this day she did want to cuddle.  And that child laid on my chest for an entire movie!  She cuddled and buried her head in my shoulder and did all those cute things that babies are supposed to do.  And we talked.  We talked about how she is a big girl now, but she will always be my baby.  It was an honest conversation with no alterior motive.  But somehow it was just what Juliette needed.

That afternoon, Juliette was potty trained.  She still has accidents on occasion, but I can firmly say that she is potty trained.  It's like a miracle to me!

So even my girl who is so insistent that she is a BIG girl and NOT a baby needed to be babied a bit.  Potty training has to be one of the great stresses of babyhood, behind weaning and learning to sleep by oneself.  My big girl just needed some reassurance that she is still my baby.  I have tried to reassure her that even when she has babies of her own that she will always be my baby.  I am grateful to be able to cross potty training off my list.  And I am grateful, too, that now when Juliette needs to be babied a bit, she will not scream for her diaper to be changed.  She will ask for a cuddle.  That's the best kind of babying there is.