Rainbow Art Party, Part One

Tomorrow is re-entry day.  The first day back to school after winter break.  A sad, sad day.  I spent the day on the couch, in my pajamas until 3:00, working on all those things I have been ignoring for way too long.  Girl Scouts.  Pre-school parent board.  Sending emails.  Lots of emails.  Making lists and crossing off very few things.  Inputting all the changes in activities into the calendar (who knew that would take so long!?).  Figuring out how to be in three or four different places at once. The usual.  Part of the day, though, was spent on planning Juliette's fourth birthday party.  I can hardly believe that little person is going to be four.  No time to dwell on that now.  I'll cry at another time when I have more time.  There's no time for crying today.  If I do, I might not stop.  I'll start thinking about everything I've been avoiding and then I'll really start crying.

Many people have asked me about my process for planning a kid's birthday party.  Since I am in the process of planning Juliette's four year old party, I will take you along for the ride...  This party hasn't happened yet; in fact we haven't even set a date, so be prepared for things to change!

Step One: Choose a Theme

For me, choosing a theme is a really important part of planning a party.  This is not so things will be cute, will photograph nicely or so that I can advertise to the world how beautiful everything looked at a one-year-old's birthday party.  (If you know me at all, you know how terrible I am at remembering to take pictures at any event.  And obviously I am terribly inconsistent about blogging.  Oh, and I can barely figure out how to use a computer.)  There are tons of pictures online of beautiful birthday parties for children.  I don't throw those kind of parties.  I'm much more interested in children having a fun, age-appropriate time than having things impeccably beautiful.  Plus, I am on a pretty strict budget.  And these are kids.  I think they are mostly interested in fun.  For me, a theme keeps me organized and gives me direction.  It keeps me on budget as well.

To me, a theme should ALWAYS be about what interests the child, not what's trendy.  This is not a party for me; it's for my child.  My kids are ALWAYS involved in the whole process of party planning, especially in choosing the theme.  Sometimes my kids come up with the ideas themselves.  Sometimes I peruse the internet for ideas and then give them choices, but they are always very much involved in this process.  This is not to say I haven't rejected their ideas.  Barbie has been rejected.  So has ninja.  And Ninjago.  And pretty much anything involving weaponry.  Or other children moving into my house.  Or taking copious amounts of children to Disneyland.

Here are some of the different themes we've used:

Monkeys and Frogs (Annalise's two year old party where she wanted a bounce house)
Water Play (Zachary's two year old party.  In July.  It was hot.  An obvious choice.)
Hearts (Juliette's second birthday, held on Valentine's Day)
Cooking (A's third.  Lots of work.  Both Mom and Mom-in-law vowed to never help with a party again.  I learned to simplify.)
Zachiator Springs (Z's third.  He was obsessed with Cars.  We had bike races in the cul-de-sac.  It was awesome.)
Construction (Z's fourth)
Fancy Nancy (A's fifth.  Paraded in our finery around the cul-de-sac for our brand new neighbors.  One thought I was the Rose Queen - from a distance, but still.  I love her.)
Cheerleading (A's sixth.  The high school cheerleaders did most of the work for me.  Brilliant.)
Pirates (Z's sixth)
Treasure Hunt (A's seventh)
Camp Out (Z's seventh)
Carnival (A's eighth)
Disco (A's tenth)

For Juliette's fourth birthday party, I pinned a bunch of ideas on a general "Party" board on Pinterest and then let her decide.  Since she is obsessed with artwork right now, an art theme became the obvious choice.  And I think she loved the visual of the rainbows.  So a rainbow art theme it became.  Note!  I saw the rainbow theme first, which I thought was beautiful, but what does one do with a rainbow theme????  I didn't really have any ideas for activities.  A theme does not help me unless it gives me ideas for what the kids should do.  If things look good but there's nothing to do, my house just gets destroyed.  And that's not fun.  Well maybe for the kids, but not for me.  When I saw art-themed parties, I thought it would be great to combine the two ideas.

Step Two: Gather Ideas (The More the Better!)

Once we decided on the theme, I started pinning away.  Here is a link to the Pinterest board I created:

http://pinterest.com/mellowlane/rainbow-art/

If you click on this link, you will see a lot of beautiful parties and other rainbow ideas.  I have learned that my execution is rarely as beautiful as things are supposed to be.  For example, there are some beautiful layered cakes on there.  This would inevitably take me three times as long as it should to execute and will look much uglier than in should.  I know my limitations.  I will not attempt that cake!! If I were, I would assign it to someone else, like my unsuspecting sisters-in-law who were "asked" to make a pirate's chest cake.  Also, the key to that cake is the slicing and I do not want a bunch of three and four year olds at my house who have had a slice of a six layered cake.  With frosting.  Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.  Also, with a rainbow theme, there is a lot of food coloring involved inevitably.  I could make my own dyes from beet juice and cherries, but I'm not that good.  There will be food coloring in the cupcakes and maybe a drizzle on the popcorn if I do that.  There will not be a candy bar with beautiful apothecary jars filled with multi-colored candies.  Uh uh.  Not going to happen.  Looks beautiful.  Takes lovely pictures, but, uh, no.  Cupcakes are plenty.

Before Pinterest, I got a lot of ideas from this website:

http://www.birthdaypartyideas.com

It has a ton of themes and different real parties with invitation ideas, decorations, favors, activities, etc.  I still use it, especially for activity ideas.
I write down (or pin!  God bless Pinterest.) every good idea I see; way more than I will ever use.  Better to have lots of ideas and have to narrow down than try to come up with ideas at the last minute.

This is my jumping off point.  I usually do this much well in advance and then sit on the ideas for a while.  I'm a sloooooooow thinker.  I like to let ideas marinate for a while before I make decisions.  Also, I almost never come up with my own clever ideas.  I copy, copy, copy!  Shamelessly!  I use and abuse other people's ideas all the time.  And I'm so not embarrassed to admit it.  I take other people's brilliant, clever, creative ideas and make them my own.

Step Three: Make Lists

Making a list of food, activities, favors, etc. will help you focus on what you want to do at the party.  It will help you see where you have holes and where you need to narrow down.  Here is my list, so far, for Juliette's party:

Juliette’s Rainbow Party

Food Ideas

            Rainbow Cupcakes

            Rainbow of Fruit

            Rainbow of Raw Veggies in Ranch Dressing Cups

            Rainbow Popcorn

            Cloud Shaped Mini Sandwiches

Activity Ideas

            Paint Canvas for Juliette’s Room

                        http://www.wholesaleartsframes.com/categories/Artist-Canvas/Canvas-Panels/

            Paint Individual Canvases

                        http://www.wholesaleartsframes.com/categories/Artist-Canvas/Stretched-Canvas/3%7B47%7D4%22-Deep/

Sand and Chalk in Jars

            Beaded Bracelets

            Homemade Play Dough Table

            Chalk on the Driveway

            Macaroni Rainbow Art

            Jar Lid Ribbon/Button Streamers

            Decorated T-Shirts

Decoration Ideas

            Rainbow of Balloons

            Tied Fabric Rainbow Wreath

            Fabric Bunting

            Rainbow of flowers

            Rainbow Streamers

            Homemade Confetti Tablecloth

Favor Ideas and Take-Aways

            Apron

            Melted-down Crayon Shapes

            Sidewalk Chalk

            Box of Crayons

            Individual Canvases

            Bracelets

            Rainbow Book

            Homemade Play Dough, Rolling Pin and Cookie Cutter

            Sand/Chalk in Jar

Obviously this is way more ideas than I plan to do and maybe some brilliant idea will come to me in the meantime and I will do that instead.  But you get the idea.  Also, I'm really a pencil and paper kind of girl.  I'd much rather use a notebook than a computer.  However, I've learned that if I type things up, I can easily add a website right into my notes, click on it and there it is.  I will probably eventually add a lot of links to this list to make my life easier when it comes to copying other people's brilliantocity or ordering supplies online.

I think that's enough information to get you started.  Next I need to decide on a date and time, a guest list and invitations.  I'll let you know if I get that far!

Mason Jar Love

I love me a Mason Jar.  I use them for everything... holding food like trail mix, nuts, chocolate chips, popcorn; pens and pencils; poker chips for awards; coins; toothbrushes, etc.  They are so functional, but they're also beautiful!

Clearly I need more popcorn.

This jar was left over from the French themed bridal shower we threw for my sister-in-law.  Why my kids have seven toothbrushes apiece I'll never understand.  This is only some of the toothbrushes in their bathroom.  And apparently Juliette doesn't discriminate.  She just grabs a toothbrush at random and brushes away.  Awesome.

I have a love/hate relationship with my kitchen, meaning I mostly hate to love it.  But a kitchen redo is not going to happen any time soon, so I've decided I need to embrace my country kitchen and make the most of it.  So I started searching at the flea market for old milk jars to use as vases and found that they were $12 a piece!  There was no way I was going to spend that kind of money, when lightbulb!  (Cue Steve Carell in Despicable Me.)  I could use my mason jars!  Here is my first attempt:

Isn't that pretty?  These are just roses from my garden.

At Valentine's Day I kicked it up a notch:

Aren't those pretty?  They are just Trader Joe's tulips and ribbons corresponding to the holiday.  I switch them out for the season.  And of course I've saved them to use them year after year.

The friend, Sarah's mom, Laurie, is an avid antique collector.  She has incredible taste and even does some restoring of her own.  I occasionally benefit from this.  Look what appeared on my doorstep last week:

Isn't she pretty!?

French Themed Bridal Shower

On Saturday we celebrated the wedding of my younger brother, David, to his longtime girlfriend, Diana.  It was a beautiful ceremony, filled with Diana's homemade touches and both D and D's personalities.  My older brother, Bill, officiated and the ceremony was personal, touching and funny.  What a special day!  More on that later...

In the spring, Diana's bridesmaids and I threw a vintage Parisian themed bridal shower for her.  We went back and forth on the theme, but since D and D got engaged in Paris, we decided on that for our theme.  Here is a link to our Pinterest page, which provided our inspiration:

http://pinterest.com/mellowlane/d-s-shower/

We started by deciding on our invitations.  We found these hot air balloon invitations on Etsy and fell in love with them.  We debated about having them be a bit more Parisian, but we loved the hot air balloon and decided it was travel-inspired and fit our theme well enough.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/84853996/vintage-feel-hot-air-balloon-bridal?ref=sr_gallery_17&ga_search_query=invitations+love+is+in+the+air&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade

Kelly, the owner of the Etsy shop worked with us to create the format and wording we wanted and then emailed us the JPEG to print out ourselves.  It seemed a little flimsy, so we mounted them on two colors of paper.  Here is what we ended up with:

Sorry for the weird crop.  Didn't want my mom's address out there.  And now can we all just take a moment there and acknowledge the fact that I just uploaded a picture to my blog!!  Yea me!!!  My heart is still doing palpitations.  That was pretty exciting.  I feel like I've actually accomplished something today.  Wow.

The girls and I were on a pretty tight budget, so we tried to go as inexpensive as possible.  We had the party at two in the afternoon, so we did not serve a full lunch.  We did French munchies and desserts.  We did three French cheeses, purchased at Trader Joe's, fruit and two different crepes.

Dude!  Two pictures!  I'm blowing my own mind right now.  Our big food splurge was on French pastries.

I borrowed these cake stands from my friend Michelle.  She usually weaves a ribbon through the holes, but she suggested twine to go with our vintagey kind of feel.  It was perfect since I was using twine around the flower "vases."  (I'll show those in a minute.)

We also had a yummy mimosa bar, which was super fun!  I went to three different stores to find bottles to hold juice.  (I should also mention that I purchased bottles from all three stores, only to return the ones I didn't want.  It became an obsession.  It's not good.  I got these from Ross.  They have similar ones at Ikea, but they are more expensive.)

In looking at Pinterest, we found the idea of a "make your own perfume bar."  We loved this idea, thought it would work for different ages, and would be both an activity and a favor.  There are lots of different options out there, in different price ranges.

We used inexpensive maps from AAA as a tablecloth in case there were any spills.  And this table was a high, cocktail table, so people could stand to make their own perfumes.  Each guest had a bag stamped with an Eiffel Tower and "merci" and a tag with their name, also stamped with a French stamp.

For decorations, I sent out an email to a bunch of my friends and they brought over anything Parisian that they had laying around the house.  We used them all over.  Here's the backdrop to our food table.  (The food table, by the way, is my mom's ping pong table, with half left folded up.  It makes for an awesome buffet table.

My parent's neighbor flies the French flag every year on Bastille Day, so we happily snatched that up.

We also printed out a bunch of engagement photos of D and D as well as pictures that Diana took on their trip to Paris.  We hung them up using twine and clothespins.  (Actually my dad pinned them up.  Yea Dad!)

Most of our decoration budget and time was spent on flowers.  We went to the Los Angeles flower mart the day before to buy flowers.  I already had these metal containers, which I've used as planters.  Some things I replanted.  Some of the containers were already empty.  Upon emptying them out, I discovered that we had drilled holes in the bottoms to let water flow out, which of course is so not convenient for cut flowers.  We ended up putting different sized Tupperware containers in the bottom of the containers to hold the water.  The idea was that this would look like a French flower market.  We were pretty happy with the results, and buying larger, less expensive flowers in bunches saved us a lot of money.

We also needed flowers for the tables.  I found a whole bunch of vintage French labels from The Graphics Fairy and they inspired the table arrangements.  Here's a link to one of those, but there are tons of others, too.

http://graphicsfairy.blogspot.com/2011/05/vintage-graphic-image-round-french-soap.html

I took my empty jars, in different sizes, which I use all the time for holding nuts, trail mix, raisins, chocolate chips, etc.  I had already removed their original labels.  (Sometimes it takes a little nail polish remover or rubbing alcohol to get all the glue off.)  Then I printed the labels in different sizes for the different jars.  I attached them with homemade Mod Podge.  I found the recipe for that here:

http://doityourselfdivas.blogspot.com/2011/09/diy-mod-podge.html

Then we tied each one with twine and filled them with flowers.  We placed three at each table in varying heights.  I think they looked gorgeous and were a huge hit.  AND, other than the flowers, they were practically free.  I had all the materials already.

We also used one type of flower per jar.  Flower arranging is not my strength and I find that grouping flowers by type eliminates some of that problem.

It was a great day, filled with yummy treats, beautiful flowers, old and new friends and, most importantly, a lot of love for Diana.

Going to hit publish now.  Cross your fingers that this actually works.  If not, my computer may get thrown across the room.

Gonna Amp Things Up

I've been a terrible blogger lately.  Always.  I'm pretty much a terrible blogger.  But since I've started on Pinterest (my newest obsession), I've gotten the chance to see some incredible blogs.  It's amazing and inspiring what women around the country are doing.  I've learned so much from these women I don't know.  I've learned about cooking, party planning, organization, saving pennies, sewing, the list goes on and on.  Sure makes me wish I had the time to learn how to sew.  It's on the list... (that is the ever-growing list of things I want and/or need to do).

So I've decided I'm going to attempt to do more with this blog.  I'm going to figure out how to add pictures.  OK first I'm going to figure out how to take pictures from my camera and put them on the computer.  Maybe I'll give myself a title page that looks awesome.  Of course I have no idea how to do any of this, and I'm a very slow learner when it comes to all things technical.  But if I can learn how to text and use excel then there's hope!  Now I just need a teenager to teach me how to use a computer.  Ally!!!  Where are you?!

Becoming a Big Girl

Have you ever met a toddler that does not insist that they are "a big girl" or "a big boy"?  Our favorite quote of Zachary's is, "Zachy no baby.  Zachy big boy."  He was almost two.  The "big girl" in our house is now narrowing in on three.  In so many ways, she is becoming a big girl.  She can dress herself -- down to the shoes and all; she can ride a tricycle; she can even unload the dishwasher.  She also could tell me the second she pooped or peed.  (Do you get where I'm going with this?)  And then she would immediately insist on a new diaper.  And if a new diaper was not forthcoming, the whole neighborhood heard about it.  It was time.  I knew it.  She knew it.  The neighbors knew it.  It was time to potty train.

Let me give you a little back story as to how I feel about potty training.  Annalise was the easiest child on earth to potty train.  I swear I remember it taking about a day; maybe a bit longer for the pooping.  And she hardly ever had an accident.  It was easy.  Piece of cake.  But she was the easiest toddler ever.  And what does God give you when you've had an easy toddler?  Zachary.  Zachary was not the easiest toddler on earth.  And I'm convinced he was the hardest child ever to potty train.  In fact I am scarred for life.  In my opinion potty training is the worst task a parent has to strike off their list.  (But I have yet to have teenagers, so stay tuned for that opinion to change.)

But it was time.  And I had the time.  The big kids had a whole week off from school for Thanksgiving.  The next break they would have is at Christmastime, and that wouldn't work if we also had to fit in a very loooooong drive to Arizona to see the in laws.  And frankly I was tired of the diapers... Tired of changing them; tired of paying for them; tired of being yelled at because of them.  So Thanksgiving it was.  We gave Juliette all sorts of warnings that it was coming.  She seemed excited, expecially since we attached potty training to a new "big girl" room.  (We're still not sure what that means yet!)  So Thanksgiving vacation came and we stocked up on stickers, a poster for her door reading "Juliette is using her potty!" (which was, of course, a total lie for quite a few days), M&Ms and Dollar Store prizes.  Oh and potties.  All sorts and varieties of potties.  We were ready!

Unfortunately the pee was not so ready.  We quickly learned that Juliette has a bladder like Jason's in that it can hold a whole gallon of pee.  We would go hours of sitting and trying, eating M&Ms and nothing.  And then an accident on the kitchen chair or on the dining room floor.  After three days I was ready to throw in the towel.  And then a little success on day four and then regression again.  I was ready to hang myself.   Finally after a week, we had a break through.

It was Saturday morning.  The kids were due to go back to school on Monday and I was so frustrated and torn.  I didn't know what to do.  Once the kids were back in school, we would be back to carpools and soccer practice, dance class and running all over town.  We would not have a bathroom at our beck and call.  Juliette was particularly clingy that morning.  She wanted to watch a movie.  (The answer to this was yes, as the potty training kid gets to do a whole lot of whatever they want during potty training in the Evans house.)  And she wanted to cuddle.  You should also know that Juliette is my least cuddliest kid.  This is through some cruel trick of nature.  The mommy who wants to cling on to her last baby needs a baby who likes to cuddle!!  It's a total bummer.  But on this day she did want to cuddle.  And that child laid on my chest for an entire movie!  She cuddled and buried her head in my shoulder and did all those cute things that babies are supposed to do.  And we talked.  We talked about how she is a big girl now, but she will always be my baby.  It was an honest conversation with no alterior motive.  But somehow it was just what Juliette needed.

That afternoon, Juliette was potty trained.  She still has accidents on occasion, but I can firmly say that she is potty trained.  It's like a miracle to me!

So even my girl who is so insistent that she is a BIG girl and NOT a baby needed to be babied a bit.  Potty training has to be one of the great stresses of babyhood, behind weaning and learning to sleep by oneself.  My big girl just needed some reassurance that she is still my baby.  I have tried to reassure her that even when she has babies of her own that she will always be my baby.  I am grateful to be able to cross potty training off my list.  And I am grateful, too, that now when Juliette needs to be babied a bit, she will not scream for her diaper to be changed.  She will ask for a cuddle.  That's the best kind of babying there is.

Man, I Love my Village!

Since becoming a parent, I can't tell you how many times I've repeated the famous quote, "It takes a village to raise a child."  This year that line is more true for me than ever.  Perhaps you've read my blog before and noticed huge gaps in time in between posts.  This is because I am BUSY!!  Besides the three kids and their three very different schedules, I have as always, over-extended myself with volunteer jobs and now I am working more than I have since Annalise was born.  It's a lot to juggle and I am feeling very overwhelmed at times.  The past two nights, I have put myself to bed before nine, which does not ever happen unless I am sick.  But I'm exhausted.  I'm having a hard time balancing it all, which we all know is where I fall short so often anyway.  It is a tough year, but I do have things in perspective.  I know how hard everything is for other people.  And next year, with Zachary in school all day and Juliette in two mornings a week, the juggling will become somewhat easier.  I hope! 

I think as Americans, we have this attitude that we have to do everything ourselves.  If we ask for help, if we admit that we need help, then we somehow have failed.  And so we often flounder on our own, not thinking to reach out our hand to the person standing just next to us to ask for help.  I have been guilty of this so much myself.  And then a wonderful thing happened.  A year ago, I had to have surgery.  And I had no choice but to ask for help.  My husband, my mom, and a multitude of friends stepped up and helped out in ways I couldn't even imagine.  They took care of me in so many ways: they made meals, and they took care of my children.  They recognized when I was trying to dive back in too early and pushed me back out of the pool and took care of everything for a much longer time than any of us anticipated.  What I learned through that was that people were not resentful for having to help.  They were not begrudging.  They were willing and happy to help.

This year because of my crazy work schedule, my desire to take a parent ed class with Juliette, Zachary's afternoon kindergarten schedule (which I wanted and asked for), my mom's crazy volunteer schedule being crazier than ever and occasionally Juliette's naps running overboard, I have had to rely on friends more than ever.  And my friends have been AMAZING!  I like to think that I am returning the favor, if not completely this year, than in the years to come as well.  Because the amazing thing that has happened is that I have found that my friends need me too.  One friend had to unexpectedly leave for a few days this week to attend a funeral.  In a matter of hours, through a few emails, her girls were completely taken care of for the week.  We all happily stepped in to take the girls to and from school, to dance classes and playdates.  Truthfully, it's easy.  My kids are happy to have friends over, I'm happy that they're happy and my friend can focus on being present at the memorial service and know that her girls are taken care of.

When I was a kid, I wasn't too thrilled to live in a town where everyone knows everyone else's business.  (My brother, as a first grader on his way home from school, throwing lemons at cars, really didn't like this.  My mother knew before he even walked in the door.)  But this same town where everyone knows everyone else's business, also supports each other.  Sometimes everyone's business is just gossip.  But sometimes it's knowing when a friend is in need and stepping up to support her.  This year, though I sometimes feel like a mooch, I know that my village knows that I am here to support them in their times of need as well.  My village kicks ass and I wouldn't change my village for anything.

Loud Girls

In the other room right now are four eight or nine year old girls.  Three of these girls I have known since they were in kindergarten.  (Well, one is my own, so I've known her a little longer.)  The fourth is new to their school this year, and therefore new to me as well.  When the fourth girl joined our Brownie troop this year, her mother was somehow sold a bill of goods (by me).  She was told that our troop was made up of several girls who are shy, a little timid, sometimes a bit socially awkward, slow starters, uncomfortable in new situations, etc. etc.  I swear, if you saw our Brownie troop in June, this is exactly what you would have seen.  And then third grade started.

Somehow third grade has created completely different animals.  This was evident from the first time I had a whole gaggle of girls here (about week two of school).  We walked here from school, about a fifteen minute walk, and the conversations did not stop for the entire walk, the entire playdate, until the last girl was picked up and deposited in her own home.  When I peeked in on the girls, they were dancing and singing at the top of their lungs, putting on some bazaar show for the girls who looked back at them in the mirror.  These girls did not lack confidence.  They were not shy in front of brand new friends.  They were completely and totally comfortable in their own skin.  And LOUD.

When Zachary has friends over I expect them to be boisterous, rambunctious, bouncing off the walls, and constantly having to be shushed if Juliette is sleeping.  But Annalise's playdates have always been much quieter; the girls preferring to disappear into Annalise's room for vast amounts of time, only surfacing to eat or use the bathroom.  They may have been napping in there for as quiet as they were.  The other difference I've noticed is that Zachary and his friends are constantly negotiating what they will play next, changing their minds, and then another back and forth about the next activity.  Annalise's friends usually make a suggestion and Annalise just goes along.  Many of her friends are like this.  They will just go along with the crowd.  But this is not the case so much anymore.  These girls in my house right now all have opinions and are not afraid to voice them.  Even Annalise, the queen of going along with any suggestion, is actually voicing her opinions and being heard.

These girls have grown up a bit, but mostly their friendships have grown up.  These girls who have now known each other for years have finally truly accepted the friendship.  They now trust in each other -- enough to speak their minds and know that they will still be liked, respected and listened to.  They are now free to be themselves in front of their friends.  They are free to be the crazy, goofy, opinionated girls that we, as their parents, have seen for years.

In a small town like ours, people move in and stay.  People do not move away.  (Actually they do move away: they leave to go to college, have a single life, get married and start a family.  But when it comes time for their kids to start school, inevitably, we come back.)  Annalise will be stuck with these kids for the next ten years of her life.  What a blessing it is for her to have found friends who know her and love her and listen to her and respect her for the crazy, goofy, opinionated girl that she is.  These girls in the other room will very likely be her friends for life.  They will share in each others' ups and downs, triumphs and collapses.

So, yes, I unknowingly sold a mom (also my friend) a bill of goods.  But what her daughter got is so much more: a group of lovely, loud girls who trust in each other.